you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
