Just mADE A PArabola og urine
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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