If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
