ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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