if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
