Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
