Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Randomize
