Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
