just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
