we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
