I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
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