in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
