you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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