i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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