I bet he comes in French.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Randomize
