I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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