"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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