i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
