Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
