If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
