Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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