I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
