Heybabeimwearingurpanties
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
