Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
3 2 1 whiskey
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
