and i looked up. we had an audience...
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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