He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
