my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
