I just saw a hot homeless man
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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