They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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