So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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