I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
