omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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