Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
