I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
