Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
