i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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