First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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