I accidentally had phone sex last night
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
