hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
We're too hungover to prance.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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