I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
