sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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