"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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