the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
