Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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