Nicole vs. Life
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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