there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
