i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
