Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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