I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
