her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
