One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
