You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
