if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
